Seeing In The Mirror
by jadedXelement
Summary: Caught up in a haunting past and a uncertain future. Despite her own fears she finds herself captured in his. Will she bring warmth in his cold heart? Poor summary, read a better summary description inside. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Home

Summary: Jubilee despite the many attempts not to, she returns back to Xavier's Institute after years of failures, mistakes and disappointments. She now faces her self worth, to where she is and who she wants to become. Bobby has always been able to exceed his ambitions while continuing to breakrules on the side. It now becomes his unfortunate struggle to face one of his biggest life challenges one that he is unable to control (his powers), making him change for the worst. Will they find what they're looking for in themselves and maybe each other? READ!

_Author Note: _First off I want to apologize for any readers reading my story entitled "Complicating". Unfortunately when I began writing it, I drifted from my original idea. Thus, I have come to a major writers block and I hate to say it but the story will go on Hiatus until then.

BUT, for those of you who remain to be a fan of my stories, you'll be happy to know I am starting this new story. The title is on the writing board so heads up it might change. This story will be different from the rest I've written; I hope you'll enjoy it.

I don't have a beta and I try to keep from too much grammar or spelling errors. But forgive me if there is any.

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Home**

She sat in the back seat of the cab, her legs shaking since the moment she stepped in and took a seat. It was the ride of her life, well _not_ exactly the ride of her life. She had taken many rides that led her to unimaginable danger or fates that would change her life. This was just the hardest ride that she'd ever taken. _It's too late to turn back now._

Taking in a deep breath she looked out the window, the comfort of the dark sky filled her hoping it would hide the mix of fear and excitement she felt inside. Soon the familiar long road came into view and far in the distance could be seen in a slight glow of the place she had set out for days ago.

A low whistle filled the silent cab and drew her sapphire eyes from the window towards the driver of the cab. "That your home?" The deep raspy voice of the middle age man asked, his eyes on the rear view mirror looking at her.

She smiled weakly, _home_, the thought of it made her want to scream on the top of her lungs yes but at the same time she wanted to lower her head in shame.

It had been years since the last time she looked upon the place she had once called home. The last time she was here she was in a car driving away never expecting to return. Yet, she was. How life changed things.

"Miss?"

A sheepish smile fallen on her face and she looked up once more at the cab driver. She didn't want to go into it, recall the many things that had happened that led her to why she was in this cab returning. So she did the easiest thing, she agreed. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that." Her voice trialed and her eyes stared as the mansion grew bigger as they neared.

Her legs no longer shook uncontrollably the only thing that she couldn't control now was the pounding of her heart and the increasing rate. _Relax_. Closing her eyes she took in deeper breaths hoping to ease her anxiety or excitement whatever emotion it was that was causing the beating of her heart to get louder and faster.

The car came to a sudden stop and she could hear the sound of the car being put in park. The cab driver announced their arrival and the price of the ride.

Opening her eyes she fished in her pockets for the money she put aside for the ride. Pulling it out, she threw on her backpack and handed the driver the money. "Keep the change." She said, too anxious to wait for the change and thankful she had gotten a driver who didn't spend the entire ride questioning her travel stories and events that led her to where she was going like many had done before. It was relieving to know he wasn't one of them; it would have been too difficult especially knowing she had to face those stories and thoughts soon.

"Wow thanks." He called out as she pushed the door open. Within seconds she was met with his tall slightly overweight figure, a smile on his face as he popped open the trunk and pulled out her suitcase and the last of her belongings.

She smiled silently grateful she had tipped him with a fair amount because he was definitely a rare thoughtful cabdriver. Expressing her gratitude she grabbed her belongings from him and placed it onto the ground.

Pulling out the handle of the rolling suitcase she spun gracefully ready to walk towards her new destiny.

"Are you going to be all right Miss? That's a mighty long driveway."

She stopped looking over her shoulder with a smile her face, "No, I'll be all right." She would need this walk, to clear her mind, to ready her heart.

The cab driver pulled off his hat with the sleeve of his shirt wiped the sweat on his forehead. A smile on his face he nodded his head, "Well then let me be the first to say welcome home."

_Home_. The word in that context brought the first genuine smile to her face. Jubilation Lee was home.

- - -

Listening to the car engine start back up, she turned around to watch the taxi cab reverse and drive off in the distance leaving her standing in the dark night in front a grand gate. Her heart ached; urging to run after cab, scream that she had changed her mind.

Shaking her head at the foolish thoughts, Jubilee was never a runner. So what she had found disappointment in the past couple years, although it hurt as hell she wasn't going to let it kick her down. She had been down too long.

_Time for change_.

Yes. Time for change, it was the sole purpose she was here, spinning once more around she approached the intercom of the gate and pressing the button she waited.

She silently prayed that whoever it was would already know of her arrival, she would be able to avoid the questions the surprise, at almost 3 a.m. in the morning she wanted nothing but to throw her things down and find comfort in a bed, in a house she had always felt secured in.

"Xavier's Institute for the –"

The familiar voice brought Jubilee's attention immediately to the secret hidden camera, she had learned about living there years ago. Her eyes round as if expecting able to see the face of the voice she had just heard.

"- Jubilee?" The voice surprised and interrupting the formality of the original greeting.

Jubilee smiled and immediately knew from the sound of her name the voice on the intercom and she knew that some God out there was listening to her.

"Ororo." Jubilee said with a breath of ease and excitement, relieved and comforted that she was greeted by the very sole woman she had always looked up to in the mansion, as a leader and as a mutant.

"I'm opening the gates for you right now Jubilee. I'll meet you in the Professor's office once you come inside." The voice of the strong and wise X-men leader filled the intercom.

Jubilee smiled as she watched the gates swing open within seconds, "Thanks." As she let out a breath she'd been holding, as if taken aback by the mansion's magnificence.

Taking her first step onto the property, it seemed as if she was finally renewed; the burdens she had been carrying, the hurt, and the disappointment, it felt were being left behind. It was what she was hoping to let go and gain by being here.

"Welcome home Jubilee." Ororo's voice called out, as Jubilee fully step onto property.

_Home_. Despite what she was feeling inside, the adjusting she would have to do just by being there. The people she'd have to face, the questions, and the answers they'd want from her. She felt comforted being in the one place she had always felt safe.

Walking up the dimly lit driveway, her round wide sapphire eyes focused solely on the white double doors she had once spent almost every waking day, looking forward to returning to.

Letting out a deep breath she began to feel her heart once again pound against her chest, its rate increasing. _Relax Lee_. Closing her eyes she took another deep breath. Exhaling, she opened them once more, trying to reassure her purpose of being there.

_I am not a failure_. Pursing her lips together Jubilee shook her head. She let out a scowl and rolled her eyes, running her free hand in her hair she let out a sigh. _I am not thinking about this now. _Shaking her head she was met with a site that she didn't expect.

A light in the far right of the mansion caught her eye and breaking away from her destination, her curiosity and some new force was pulling her towards the open garage.

The sound of what seemed like moving boxes or things being rearranged could be heard as Jubilee neared the garage. _It's like 3 in the morning, who the heck is awake?_ Although she had been praying that she wouldn't be welcomed home with massive questions and surprise why she was back, she couldn't help but be drawn to curiosity. A habit she had never grown out of, _some _things never change.

Jubilee stepped directly in front of the garage to reveal rows of cars lined against the wall next to one another. It was like staring into a millionaire's garage full of cars. Yet this garage was the shelter for a good amount of the cars owned by X-men in the mansion. The sound had stopped for a brief second only to start up once more and Jubilee searched for the spot in the garage that was causing it.

Silently walking in, the stealth of being an X-men and the grace of a gymnast allowed her complete skills to go unnoticed. Spotting an old school black convertible, Jubilee found the person responsible for the noise.

Backside turned and head in the trunk, Jubilee caught a very good sight of the young man's nicely firm ass. Her lips curved into a slow smile as she took her time to admire the site in front of her. _Aha yes, the advantages of being back in Xavier's Institute. _She had to laugh at herself silently then, that the first thing she'd do upon returning would be checking out a fellow X-men. But what could she say, after living with Generation X, there wasn't much to look at after being there for so long. Although there was one that would always capture her attention.

_Stop it._ Scowling suddenly to herself Jubilee displayed a disgusted look on her face for being allowed to be drawn back to her past life. It wasn't the reason why she was here.

"Ahem."

The sudden noise surprised her and Jubilee jumped up a little startled. Her eyes shot open at the young man that she had been checking out just seconds ago, only to be meant with his piercing grey eyes. She instantly knew the face she was staring at but was surprised to be meant with such cold and dark eyes.

Slightly embarrassed that he had possibly caught her staring, she recovered quickly with a smirk. Letting out a slow whistle one that maybe Amara would be proud of. Oh yes, she had changed, Jubilee wasn't just the tomboy she once was, she wasn't just friendly anymore or one of the guys. She knew her way to tease, to joke, to flirt. Jubilee smiled as she raised an eyebrow at him, "Nice ass Drake."

Bobby looked surprised at her choice of words, maybe it was the bluntness or truth to them or maybe it was the mere fact she was standing in front of him. Yet whatever it was, a slight blush warmed his cheeks.

Jubilee's eyes soften as she noted the hardness in his eyes disappear instantly at her words. She giggled in wonderment. "It's kind of late to be packing things in your car." Jubilee said with a small laugh, her eyes on the boxes in his trunk. A twinkle in her eyes as she recalled the spontaneous life style of Bobby Drake. "You going for a late night get away? I know I just got here but if you don't mind I can join you." She laughed then at the idea of just leaving once again, she didn't mind, she wasn't looking for responsibility just yet, "I'm already packed."

She didn't know when it happened but the openness in his eyes disappeared and she was suddenly met with the same cold hard grey eyes she had first stared into that night. A frown formed on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. _Okay. _She wondered then if he even remembered her, he wasn't the only one who changed physically.

Him with his grey eyes looking older than ever especially at that moment, the stronger jaw line, the slight hair growing on his face, and the physic body of a God. _God? _Jubilee's face warmed at the thought, she was comparing Bobby Drake in a pair of jeans and a fitted wife beater to a God.

As for her well, her hair grown out, her body fully grown and matured, she didn't look as boyish as she did years ago when she use to live here. Although she still chose to wear jeans and a spaghetti strap or tank over any girly attire, the advantage of puberty and life only showed off how much a young woman she became. Yes, he wasn't the only one who had grown up, who had changed.

Jubilee however continued to meet his eyes with her sapphire orbs, refusing to look down just because he was glaring, just because it felt cold just by looking into them. She was stubborn, a trait that was either her biggest strengths or much hated by her former teammates. Bobby looked away, spun in place and grunted.

"Right." Jubilee mumbled under her breath as she watched the mutant she had once known as a prankster, the life of the party, the list to go on but never so cold so isolated, be just that.

_What happened to bring him down this much?_ The question burned her mind as she watched his broad shoulders, the muscles in his arms flex as he continued to shift the things in his car, obviously trying to make room for the rest of the things that was placed on the ground.

Taking a step forward she hesitated for a brief second, recalling her former teammate's words about never knowing when to leave things alone. Shaking the thought of _his_ words away, Jubilee placed a hand on Bobby's shoulder. Still he plagued her thoughts even miles away, _curse him_. But she wouldn't let it bother her, not here.

_Cold_. It instantly felt like her hand was freezing at the contact. She resisted the sudden reaction and urge to snap her hand away from his tank, his skin and the burning freeze she now felt on her hand.

Inhaling sharply at the shocking feeling on her hand, she jumped a little startled as Bobby spun around in a mere seconds of her touch. Instantly his grey eyes met hers with such intensity she froze.

Coldness and hardness filled the once shining eyes of the young man that she once knew who would do anything for a good laugh. Jubilee felt lost in his eyes as if unable to look away, she wasn't terrified, she wasn't bother, she wasn't uncomfortable, yet she was captivated. A flicker of hurt flashed in his eyes before he finally broke contact, again it showed in his face a small irritation and surprise she had not turned away first.

Turning Bobby looked over his shoulder for a brief second before facing back the trunk of his car, "I don't feel like talking right -"

"Bobby –" Jubilee began to interrupt, confusion filled her at his coldness physically and emotionally. _Why am I pushing this? _She didn't understand her urge to continue to talk to him but yet she couldn't and didn't want to walk away.

Slamming the trunk of his car down, Bobby spun picked up the last box and threw it over his shoulder. "Sorry Jubilee."

With a flash of his eyes he looked at her and Jubilee felt her heart ache for unknown reasons. _He does remember me. _Within a second Bobby tore his eyes from her sapphire orbs and Jubilee watched as he walked out the garage.

Jubilee bit her lip as she stared at the empty spot where Bobby stood as if trying to understand what had just happened. Letting out a sigh she picked up her things and headed for the same door Bobby went through, it was time to meet Ororo.

- - -

The walk through the mansion to Professor Xavier's office was unbelievably unnerving as it was nostalgic. The feeling of walking the dark and silent halls was strange; the last time she was here she wasn't allowed to walk through the halls so freely at this hour. She was more creeping her way through the halls rather than slowly walking like she did at the moment.

Letting out a big sigh, she was relieved to know that in her heart she still had the mansion memorized. Coming up to the familiar doors she knocked softly. Taking in a deep breath Jubilee pushed open the doors.

Jubilee held her breath as she prepared herself for whoever else would be with Ororo and Professor Xavier. Letting it out, her eyes widen as she watched as the leather seat spun around and revealed Ororo's smiling face.

"Welcome back Jubilee." Ororo's voiced filled the large and silent office; she stood from the seat and immediately walked around the large oak desk to meet Jubilee.

She froze in place as she watched Ororo swiftly approach her and in seconds wrapped her arms around her. Jubilee closed her eyes for a second at the contact and smiled at the warmth. _This must be how it feels to have a mom. _

Pulling away Ororo's silver eyes shined down on her, "It's good to see you."

"Like wise." Jubilee said with a smile, she looked up at Ororo. She had aged well still looking as she did years ago, yet her eyes showed the wisdom and experience she had gained over the years.

"Where's Professor X?" Jubilee quickly asked as she scanned the office seeing that no one else appeared in the room.

Ororo nodded her head as she gazed at the empty chairs, "He had to leave the mansion business with Magneto."

Jubilee nodded her head in understanding yet she wondered silently just exactly what business meant. The curiosity in her wanted to know but she bit her tongue knowing it wasn't the time and maybe not even her place.

"Jubilee are you okay?" Ororo asked gently obviously aware of Jubilee's change of mood.

Smiling quickly Jubilee nodded her head. Running a hand through her long black tendrils of hair, "It's just late." She lied.

Ororo raised her eyebrow as if giving the impression she didn't fully believe her. "Indeed it is shall we finish this conversation later?"

"Yes." Jubilee agreed with relief, she was beginning to feel like any minute longer on her feet she was going to pass out. Traveling across the nation was draining her.

"All right then. You'll be happy to know that you have your old bedroom back, renovations have been done over the past years and I'm sure you'll be happy with its changes. Breakfast will start at 7:00 am if you want to join the others if not the kitchen is available as it was in the past." Ororo briefly explained.

Jubilee stood silent listening to the important information, she nodded her head in understanding and Ororo continued on.

"I'll meet with you either later today or tomorrow about the rest of the arrangements while you're with us." Ororo then paused as she looked at Jubilee as if hesitating to continue the rest. As if finally making a decision she spoke softly, "I guess I should let you know to think about your future with the X-men."

Sapphire eyes widen and Jubilee felt her heart speed at the thought of the X-men. Again Ororo took notice of her reaction and spoke, "That is if you want one."

Jubilee stuttered as she nodded her head, "Right." The rest of her words caught in her throat, she remained silent not able to say anything more.

"All right then, if you have no questions, I'll see you later." Ororo said with a nod, as she spun around and began to lead Jubilee out the room.

Jubilee followed in the footsteps of X-men leader, her eyes on her white flowing hair. It once again began to feel like a dream being back at the one place she didn't imagine returning to years ago. Yet, there she was, following the footsteps of the woman she always that embodied what it meant to be a leader and X-man.

Lost in her thoughts Jubilee was suddenly meant in abrupt stop and eyes widen as she came close to walking right into Ororo.

A sheepish smile fell on Jubilee's face at the thought she most probably appeared to be like a teen who had just arrived for the first time. Ororo smiled and a small laugh escaped her lips, "It seems you are in thought."

Her cheeks warmed at the idea of Ororo seeing through Jubilee so easily. Deciding there was no reason to be embarrassed; Jubilee looked up honesty in her eyes "I guess it just feels so strange being back. It's like everything is the same but yet different."

Ororo nodded in understanding and remained silent as Jubilee walked out the door. Spinning around Jubilee looked in the eyes of the older woman, "I saw Bobby earlier before I came in, he seems different." Her voice trailed not knowing what to really say or what she was trying to say. Just that he continued to linger on the back of her mind.

Silver eyes stared in understanding, she pursed her lips together before speaking, "Yes, the past years have not only changed _you_, or me, but it has indeed changed everyone around as well."

Ororo said nothing else as she nodded her head; a soft good bye was said before she spun around and began to walk down the hall.

Jubilee remained ever so silent as she watched Ororo walk down the slightly lit hallway. Thoughts rose in her head as she began to wonder what Ororo had meant by what she said. A smirk appeared on her face as she shook her head, she was being silly it was almost now 4 in the morning, she shouldn't be standing there thinking about changes or being here. She was already here and nothing could change what happened.

Taking in a deep breath Jubilee grabbed her things once more and began her walk towards her room. "It's good to be home." She whispered to herself.

* * *

_Author Note_: Ahh. Tell me what you think. Like I mentioned previously it's a different type of story from all the others that I've written. But I wanted to write something a little bit more serious and angst. I hope you like it and sit tight as this story unfolds.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Or hopefully I'll reveal it in chapters to come. It's a little AU but not so much. Like the show Jubilee left after the mansion got attacked. Other things I hope will make sense later. On that note, do you think I may need to write a better summary? Let me know, I want to improve and also get more attention of other readers.

Well please review! Let me know your reading or if you like this. If not I may have to delete this and start a new or return to Complicating. Give me a sentence a word, anything I'll appreciate it. Thanks for reading.


	2. Change

Chapter 2 –

_Author Note: _**allyg1990**, **Abbs of the faeries**, and **midnite requiem** thank you for taking the time to review. It truly helped inspire me to continue this new type of story.

It took a little longer than I wanted for this chapter to be completed but here it is. It reveals a little more about our characters. I hope you enjoy.

Mind you, I don't have a beta (although feel free to volunteer) so here is an advance apology for any mistakes or errors that I have in this chapter or story.

Disclaimer: I don't own X-men: Evolution. If I did Jubilee would have never left. And Bobby and Jubilee would have definitely gotten together.

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**Chapter 2 – Change**

Jubilee woke up with the sun in her eyes. Groaning she turned to cover her face as she let out a sigh. Realizing the attempt to return back to sleep was futile she sat up throwing the blanket off of her.

Groggy she rubbed her eyes as she let out a yawn. Stretching her back she looked around trying to familiarize herself with her environment. _That's right_. Thoughts of her early morning arrival to the mansion flooded into her mind as she took a look around her room for the first time.

She had been so exhausted the moment she opened the door she flashed on the lights only to look if the bed had sheets before turning off. Walked in the dark and fell into the mattress, it was the first time in months that she had been able to find a peaceful night of sleep.

Rolling to her side she grabbed her bag and searched for her watch to check the time. 11:58 am. _So much for breakfast_. Letting out a sigh Jubilee stared at the ceiling as she laid on back. She couldn't believe she was back.

After the mansion was attacked, her parents pulled her out without listening to her wants or her needs. She was gone within a day after the incident. Never in her dreams, although she dreamed a lot did she ever think she'd returned. Her parents had been so adamant about never letting her returned, it seemed implausible.

The day she turned 18 had been one of the biggest life changing days of her life. The past four years she dreamed and intended to return to the one place that she ever felt like she truly belonged, Xavier's institute. Turning 18, it meant she was now free to do just that. Yet she was surprised to meet Emma Frost on her door step, with the proposition of joining a new team.

It was an opportunity she didn't want to turn down. Maybe it was because she was scared of returning to the mansion with the unknown of what would it mean. Would she make the team? Would she be as strong as she use to be or stronger? It was unknown. She didn't stand out like some of the other mutants recruits did when she was there. But the idea of starting a new, making a difference, the ambition and challenge seem much greater with the Generation X. So that's where she went.

She wasn't running away from X-Men. She was chasing after something bigger, that's what she wanted, and that's why she went. Was it worth it? A little voice asked inside.

_Damn it._ Jubilee let out a groan as she pushed herself off the soft mattress. Burying her face into her hands Jubilee shook her head. Why did she do this to herself? Why did she have to think about the past years, her choices, her dreams.

"I need to get out of here." Jubilee said out loud, realizing that staying in a room alone was not going to stop her thoughts. So she stood up and began to change.

- - -

Walking down the stairs Jubilee let out a deep sigh as she passed yet another group of mutants whose faces she didn't recognize. It was after being gone for so long and not to mention at a place where their max amount of occupants was 20 that it felt almost unusual to be around so much unfamiliar faces.

_I wonder if the X-men are off on a mission or something_. The thought trailed her mind as she realized she had yet to see anyone she knew or any of her old friends. A part of her was relieved that it would mean more time to think and more time to ready herself for the new change and the questions, but the other part of her felt anxious knowing that until that time, she was alone.

Frowning slightly Jubilee rounded the corner that led towards the kitchen. She was use to being alone, why should it bother her now. Running her hands through her hair she let out a groan annoyed at the fact she was thinking too much.

The sounds of people chatting from inside the kitchen and dinning area rose Jubilee's attention as she walked in. Before she was able to fully take a good look at her environment, a loud whistle sounding much like the whistle that she had done the night before when she saw Bobby.

Her checks warmed when she heard the voice of the guy responsible for the whistling welcome and not to mention the cause of the suddenly quiet dinner room. Apparently the attention was all on her.

"Damn Jubilee is that you, you look hot!" Hollered Ray, who sat on the kitchen counter one leg rested on it as he leaned coolly against the wall.

Flushing at the loud statement Jubilee's head snapped to see Ray's eyes eyeing her up and down. _Ray, it looks like some things never change. _Although she was flattered at the blunt statement she rolled her eyes, _he never had any tact. _

A new voice took over the newest silence, "It looks like rumors can be true. Jubilation Lee is back at the institute. I thought this day would never come."

Jubilee glared before even meeting the owner of the voice, god she hated whenever someone used her full name.

A laugh escaped the lips of the voice as Jubilee's eyes finally found the face, "Jubilee, get over here girl!"

"Amara." Jubilee mumble as a small smile appeared on her face. She took her time walking towards Amara, as she looked around the dining area to see the other familiar faces that joined them. Sam stood leaning against the wall his arms over his chest, Jamie although seemed to be looking at them was semi distracted by the piece of pie in front of him, a smiling and much older Rahne was sitting with a huge smile on her face next Amara.

Soon she stood in front Amara a genuine smile on her face to be staring into one of her closest confidants at the mansion. It was ironic in fact, that she would consider Amara her closest friends. If she had to answer that question when she first arrived at the mansion, she'd disagree and probably pick Rahne.

Amara squealed and quickly threw her hands over Jubilee's shoulders pulling her into a hug. "I am so glad you finally decided to come home."

Although the statement was meant to be one of warm welcome and genuine excitement, Jubilee couldn't help but silently hurt at the reminder that she never intended to return.

Jubilee smiled at she hugged her closest girl friend. It was an interesting turn of events that the two despite their differences in personality, they connected and understood each other well. Never feeling like the other would not understand.

"Hey I want to hug Jubilee too." Whined Rahne, who now stood next to Jubilee and Amara patiently waiting for her turn.

Letting go, Jubilee laughed as she wrapped her arms to hug Rahne the first friend she had made at the mansion. It was when they both had to leave after the attack that they got even closer. Jubilee didn't understand what changed between after months and years passed.

Maybe it was the hint of jealously that Jubilee felt after one year Rahne called her with excitement in her voice that her parents agreed on letting her return. Or maybe it was because when it became to unfortunate events and disappointments Jubilee felt like she understood them better than anyone. And Rahne with her caring parents, her carefree attitude, never seem to know what it felt like to hurt so deeply. That probably brought the biggest rift in their friendship and the biggest bridge in her and Amara's.

It was soon, Jubilee found herself in the arms of almost all her comrades in the kitchen. Her thoughts about Amara and Rahne's friendship no longer in her mind as Jamie patted her head before hugging her.

"Looks like someone didn't really grow." He teased as he pulled her in for a quick hug.

Rolling her eyes Jubilee swung her hand to playfully hit his stomach causing a groan to escape Jamie's lips as pulled apart from her. "And it looks like I can still beat you up." Jubilee countered as she let out a laugh.

"Ha-ha" Mumbled Jamie as he rubbed his stomach and glared at the Asian mutant. "I have you know I'm one of the top x-man members and much better at my powers. I can show you."

"Blah blah." Amara interrupted as she placed a hand on Jamie's chest pushing him away, "Stop acting like a big shot, your reminding me too much of Ray." The comment caused Ray to yell a 'hey' in the background as a defense. Ignoring Ray, Amara turned to Jamie, "You can show Jubilee how big, bad and strong you are in the danger room some other time. Right now is girl time."

Not even waiting for Jamie's response Amara placed her hands on Jubilee's shoulders and began to slowly push her way to a chair so they both could sit down and properly talk.

"I can't believe your really here." Amara whispered as she looked at Jubilee.

Jubilee smiled at the look at Amara's face, the intensity in her eyes as she stared at her. It seemed like Amara was trying to convince herself this was reality. Shrugging her shoulders she let out a sigh, "Well believe it cause its definitely real. Besides how'd you know I would be coming? The last time I talked to Professor X and Ororo, they both agreed and confirmed no one else knew."

Her sapphire orbs watched as Amara's cheeks flushed as her eyes looked casually at Ray who still remained on the kitchen counter, the only one member who didn't move when Jubilee entered the room. "I guess you can say some things never change." Amara mumbled as she returned her gaze back to Jubilee. "Ray was being nosey the other day and found out. The practically the whole old gang knew you'd be here today."

"Oh." Jubilee replied silently. She silently told herself at least there wouldn't be so much questions of surprise on why'd she had returned. But it only made her wonder if it meant that they talked about her returning instead. Soon Jubilee began to imagine the theories and conversations they possibly could have shared about her.

"So how does it feel to be back?" Amara asked with excitement in her voice, apparently unaware of the slight discomfort Jubilee was feeling inside.

Again Jubilee shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. It feels good but weird. I mean the mansion looks the same, you guys are still here. But after all these years I know things have changed."

Amara nodded her head, "I know what you mean. I have _so much_ to tell you, girl I haven't heard from you over 6 months!"

This time Jubilee felt her cheeks flush as she causally tried to look away and avoid Amara's stare. Although the two had remained in contact with one another, Jubilee had done nothing to retain contact with her friend recently. 6 months ago, she wanted nothing but to get away from the world. _How could I not think she wouldn't notice my absence in this friendship? _

"Jubes, are you okay?" Amara asked slowly as she looked at her friend, finally taking notice of Jubilee's quiet behavior.

Looking at her friend Jubilee weakly smiled, "Yeah, I am." She stammered in a very unconvincing voice.

Amara looked at her with a face that said she didn't believe her. But much to Jubilee's liking they were interrupted by a young mans voice.

"Jubilee, if you're done being reacquainted with everyone, I can take you where we can get to know each other again." Ray asked as he leaned against the table in front of them. He ended his suggestion with a wink causing a laugh to escape both Amara and Jubilee.

"God, Ray, I can't believe you're hitting on Jubilee. She does know your past unlike those new students at this mansion." Amara said as she rolled her eyes.

"Really Ray, some things don't change. And that also means you." Jubilee said with a laugh as she shook her head ignoring Ray's suggestion.

"Ha-ha." Ray said half heartedly as he looked off to the other end of the kitchen, his eye catching something or somebody.

"Yo Bobby! Look whose here!" Ray called out as he waved his arm in the air. He tilted his head in the direction that Jubilee sat and smirked, "Jubilee is back and she's a hottie, I'll even stop flirting with her if you want to get a chance."

Jubilee rolled her eyes as she swung her hand and slugged Ray in the arm. _When did he become such a womanizer? _Although she was beginning to be slightly annoyed by his behavior she was a little amused because she knew he was doing it just to bother them.

_Bobby? _Following the gaze of both Ray and Amara Jubilee looked to where Bobby stood. She watched as he opened the refrigerator door ignoring Ray's comment. Frowning Jubilee sensed the same feeling she had the night before when she saw him, the same coldness. _Why?_

He glanced over to the three young adults, a slight glare in his eyes only to shrug slightly before looking back into the icebox.

Ray scowled as he slammed the soda can he was holding onto the table top between Jubilee and Amara. The mere action startled Jubilee as she jumped slightly in her seat. "I'm sick and tired of this." Ray mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen fuming.

Jubilee's eyebrows rose as she stared at the empty space that Ray once stood in. _What the hell?_ She was confused, for as long as she could remember when she was in the mansion and when she _was_ keeping in contact with Amara or Rahne, Bobby and Ray were the best of friends. But the scene that had just taken place made her think other wise. _Did something change?_

"What was that?" Jubilee whispered as she looked Amara, whose eyes remained on Bobby a frown on her face.

Sighing Amara stood up, "Come on, there's a lot I have to update you with. Let's get out of here."

Not questioning her friend Jubilee stood up and followed Amara as she walked towards the exit out of the kitchen. Before stepping out of the room Jubilee paused taking one last look over her shoulder at the young man whose attitude still continued to haunt her thoughts. She was startled to see Bobby looking directly at her, the coldness still in her his eyes causing her to feel a shiver through her spine.

She froze, although she was bothered by his glare she couldn't help herself but want to talk to him. "Hi." She mouthed, again she seemed to surprise him because she watched as his eyes widen and his hard eyes grow soft.

A sound in the kitchen broke the connection and Jubilee saw Jamie return to throw a dish into the kitchen sink. Bobby returned his attention back to the fridge ignoring her once more. Letting out a sigh Jubilee followed Amara who was calling her name in the hall.

- - -

"I don't get it, I saw Bobby like that last night. And now again today, even being so cold to Ray? What happened?" Jubilee asked as they walked through the mansion.

"He's been like that for the past couple months." Amara answered with a sigh.

_Past couple months? _Worry filled her wondering what had caused Bobby Drake to be trapped in an extended time of depression and coldness. "What do you mean?"

Amara paused stopping, seriousness filled her face and her voice dropped to a soft whisper. "He's losing control of his power."

"What?" Jubilee said with her eyes widen, at the thought. _What does that mean?_

"It means. He can't control it. His powers not only changed. It changed him Jubilee."

- - -

Jubilee ran as the cool air blew against her skin. Sweat from her forehead cascaded down her face as she continued to run through the empty abandon grounds of the institute.

Her pace slowed into a jog and Jubilee's breathing began to slow. Wiping her sweat from her forehead with her wrist she let out a sigh.

Her first official day back had gone exceptionally well. She had basically reunited with most of her teammates and was even introduce to the newest members of the famous X-Men team. It was nothing like she'd imagine it'd be like, the heartache of returning, the embarrassment but she couldn't help but feel bothered by the emptiness that remained inside of her.

The only thoughts that remained to bother her were not just about her returning and the emptiness that she still couldn't get over. But her thoughts were being occupied by what Amara had told her earlier today. Even as the topic ended and they spent the rest of the conversation together talking about everything else, he lingered in the back of her head.

_It changed him_. Jubilee frowned as the rest of the conversation lingered more in her head. She had learned that just around the time she had left Generation X, Bobby was facing his own battles.

It was almost every mutant fears, his powers were growing and for some reason it was taking over him, he couldn't control it like he use to. _Is this the reason to why he's so cold?_ For some reason maybe because she was always so curious, she wanted to know more or maybe it was because when she looked at him she saw loneliness she saw in herself when she looked in the mirror. What happened to change him, although she had never known him more than just an aquatint she had always known him to be an optimistic. Things did change since she left. She sighed.

Were his fears of losing himself just as terrifying as the fear she had of failing? Jubilee stopped in her steps, she leaned against the closest tree the rough bark scratched her skin. Closing her eyes Jubilee felt herself be for the first time since time she arrived be wrapped in the fear that had consumed her months ago.

Letting out a sigh, she was back she thought. Back to the place that she dreamt most of her ambitions. The very place she found the person she truly was. She slightly hit her head against the tree as she told herself she wouldn't let herself be stopped by her fears by her failures.

_God it could it be more of a oxymoron, that it brought back life to be here but killed her at the same time._ Shaking her head Jubilee closed her eyes once more before pushing herself off the tree into a run.

Things did changes. And things change. Pushing herself to run faster Jubilee ran with one thing in mind, she was going to change things. She was going to change.

* * *

_Author Note: _Personally, I don't think it was the best chapter. But I hope it did its part by answering some of your questions about what's going on. Sorry it was so short and I hope for the most part it made sense.

Generally, I'll be making reference to Generation X, don't worry I don't know too much about the actually history of this team so you wont get lost. Secondly, some of you may know of the period where Bobby lost control of his powers; I am using reference to that as well but rearranging some of the details to fit my story.

**Voting Poll! **I was thinking of pairing Amara with John (IF you know me their my second pairing when it comes to x-evo). But then I thought to mix it up for some reason to use Ray. So here's a voting poll vote and let me know who you think I should pair her with for this story.

Second vote, I need a guy to play as an admirer for Jubilee. Preferably someone cocky, when I first thought of this story it was awhile ago and I intended to use John because of his personality and he being the complete opposite of Bobby. But I felt it would be betraying the JohnxAmara pairing, plus I wouldn't want to offend my fans from previous stories that liked this pairing. If for some reason you vote John not to be with Amara I'll use him for this role. If not, I was thinking of either Roberto or Sam after that. OR, you could give me a totally different x-character even Brotherhood or Acolytes are welcomed! Please help me out and vote.

Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope you can vote and review. I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far. I start school quite soon, so hopefully I'll be able to update soon. Thank you for reading.


	3. Shattered Dreams Part 1

_Author Note_: Big Mahalo (Thanks) to **midnite requiem**, **Abbs of the faeries**, and **violetgilmore** for your wonderful reviews!

Sorry for the big delay in posted. I reached a difficult writers block and spent the entire day writing this chapter. I'm not entirely sure if it came out how I wanted but I hope you like it.

Warning, this story is unbeta'd so please don't be too harsh on any grammar or spelling errors. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3**** – Shattered Dreams (Part 1)**

Jubilee walked the semi crowded hallways of the mansion. She smirked slightly to herself as she saw the many faces. It was definitely something different to be surrounded by so much people, the past years she had gotten use to be seeing not more than 20 people in her living quarters. It was refreshing but yet at the same time it was a risk of being smothering.

Rounding the corner Jubilee brushed strands of hair that fell in front of her face. She didn't know what she was so worried about; she knew it'd happen sooner or later, _better now than later right?_ She was scheduled to meet with Ororo per her own request. Well technically she was expected to meet with Professor Xavier. As much as she liked Professor X she also knew a talk with someone that could already read her mind wouldn't be very therapeutic.

So instead, she requested to meet with Ororo. Besides she had always looked up to the older woman for wisdom. Although it was a little unexpected and she could see the surprise in Xavier's face she knew he instantly understood. So with a meeting was scheduled for today.

Taking in a deep breath Jubilee turned and pushed the door open. Stepping forward she immediately collided into a firm chest and stumbled backwards. Catching her balance her sapphire eyes shot from the ground to the person in front of her.

Grey eyes met hers and Jubilee felt something her chest tightened as she looked into Bobby's face. This time the coldness seemed to be gone and she couldn't help but feel rather alone staring into them. His faces showed little disgruntle as it did the couple run-ins she had with him but rather one filled with despair.

"Sorry." Bobby mumbled a hand running through his brown hair.

"It's no problem." Jubilee said quickly, realizing he was the first to initiate the conversation. Smiling weakly, she hoped silently then that the conversation wouldn't be short lived like the previous ones. Since her return a couple of days ago she had last seen him in the kitchen. After Amara's explanation about his situation it was like he locked himself up in his room. Not that that could be the real reason, she wasn't very social either the past days.

Dropping his eyes Bobby moved to his left and reached for the door to hold it open and before she could encourage further conversation, he stepped out the room.

_So much for a conversation. _Letting out a sigh Jubilee gave one last look at where he stood before turning around and began to walk further into the office.

"You're early."

Jubilee's eyes looked up to see Professor Xavier sitting at his large oak desk a knowing smiling on his face.

She smiled weakly and shrugged her shoulders, "I guess some things _can_ change." Jubilee joked, referring to her slight habit of coming to meetings late when she was a teen.

"Were you meeting with Bobby?" Jubilee asked her voice trailing as her mind thought of the young man that had just been in her presence moments ago.

Professor Xavier nodded his head as he brought his hands together and leaned forward against his desk. "Ahh yes. Mr. Drake he like you Miss. Lee has a lot to discuss about his plans at this mansion."

Surprised of his answer Jubilee remained quiet as she walked slowly toward the desk, she wondered then what he could possibly mean about Bobby's plans. More so she wondered why he said anything to begin with. It was rare that Xavier talked about his students or X-men's personal issues to others; he often respected the need for privacy.

"But I do believe that you Jubilee have a meeting with Ororo, yes?" Professor Xavier asked soon after, leaving Jubilee with little time to think anymore.

Nodding her head Jubilee looked around the office. She had only met with Ororo and Professor Xavier in his office and was unsure where to go for her meeting with Ororo.

Unclasping his hands he held out his left hand towards a door to the right of Jubilee. "That will lead you to Ororo's office."

"Thank you." Jubilee answered as she gave him a quick smile and made her way towards the door. Touching the cold metal handle she looked over her shoulder when Xavier called out.

"And Jubilee, it is possible that your return to the mansion may benefit not just those from the X-men."

Letting his words linger in her head she pushed the door open to Ororo's office. _I wonder what he means. _Shaking her head she realized she wouldn't understand the mind of a telepath within only minutes. Who was kidding she couldn't, she never came close to understanding his sayings the years she had been living there. _Who am I kidding; I'd start a migraine before I even come close to understanding._

"Ahh Jubilee welcome, please have a seat." Ororo called out as she placed a file she had been looking at aside.

Following her mentor's offer Jubilee took a seat in front of Ororo. "Hi."

Smiling Ororo nodded her head, "Professor Xavier has told me you requested to speak to me on your return rather than him."

Embarrassed Jubilee nodded her head and she suddenly felt like she was 14 all over again. This was the reason why she hoped to avoid meetings like these. Because they expected to hear her story and what she had done the past years. _Like they didn't already know_. It was ironic really to have to talk about it when she knew that the X-men kept tabs on Generation X, it wasn't like they were a complete secret or mystery.

"I see. Is there anything in particular you would like to discuss then with me?" Ororo questioned as her white eyes bore into Jubilee's.

Jubilee shook her head. "No. I just prefer to speak to the instructor that played a big part in my time spent here growing up."

Ororo smiled briefly and she nodded her head in a silent understanding. "Very well. You do understand what this meeting entails?"

"Yes." Jubilee answered softly, "I am to update you with my previous history in the last years since I left the mansion. More importantly her plans now that she returned." In short, it really meant that it was like an interview, like an evaluation. They wanted to know where she had been, what she had done, and the works. But like she thought and wondered they should already know.

"You seem a little hesitate or uncertain." The weather controlling mutant pointed out. Storm's had a keen ability of being very perceptive in everything she saw, heard, etc. it was probably why it made talking to her so much easier. Jubilee although loved to ramble when it came to her personal troubles had a hard time even beginning.

"I just don't understand, wouldn't you guys already know. Generation X wasn't a complete secret to this mansion. Not to mention I figured you guys had surveillance on everything." Jubilee explained.

"Ahh. You are quite right Jubilee. We in fact do know but it does not mean we know everything. Or in fact understand everything." Ororo's eyes narrowed at her as she spoke the last statement and Jubilee had a lingering feeling that she was implying something.

"With that aside, would you mind to tell me what happen six months ago?" Ororo asked her eyes remained solely on Jubilee and she leaned against the arm chair.

Letting out a sigh Jubilee kept her eyes fixed on Ororo despite the desire to look awhile. "Six months ago as in after I left Generation X?" she asked clarifying just exactly what Ororo wanted to know.

She watched as Ororo silently nodded her head. _Should have known. _They would of course could not be too certain of her where about or what she had done after she left her team. Taking in a deep breath Jubilee spoke, "After I left Generation X I guess you can say I took a vacation that involved solitude."

Ororo glanced down onto her table and Jubilee watched as Ororo's slender hand reached for the file that she had been looking at when Jubilee walked in. "It says here that you disappeared."

"You guys were looking for me?" Jubilee blurted out, her face astounded. _They were looking for me? _"With Cerebro?"

Ororo's face softened and Jubilee noticed as if Ororo seem to have an inner conflict, as if deciding what to say. Soon Ororo's pursed her lips together and like an action much like Xavier's she placed her hands together and leaned forward. "Yes, we had looked for you at several occasions. You must have known that when Xavier contacted."

Nodding her head silently Jubilee was flabbergasted. Sure she had figured they did something to find her but think they were actually actively looking for her, she didn't quite understand _why_. "Why?" she asked, her head shaking as she couldn't possibly come close to making sense of the news.

Again the face of conflict or rather one filled with much thought filled Ororo's face. Placing her hands down she looked at Jubilee, "Professor Xavier had concerns about you after your departure from Generation X. From what I gathered and from the small process that had occurred was due to follow up on you."

"I don't believe it." Jubilee cried out as she stood up abruptly from her seat. _First my team and now my former/future team? What is wrong with people and trust! _

"Jubilee." Ororo gasped, surprised at the outburst. She stood from her chair as well and stared directly at the slowing growing raging woman.

Jubilee shook her head as she threw her hands up. "No. I don't believe it. First my team and now I come here to find out even the X-men. What is it that I've done to ever display that I would not be one that can be trusted."

Ororo shook her head and quickly and with much grace walked from behind the desk to approach Jubilee. "You have to understand Jubilee –"

"What that the team that I chose to give my heart to and spent developing and growing with had resulted to an utter failure of my dreams. Or the fact that my first ever team and the place that I'm standing here today has been keeping tabs on me like I would be ready to crack! It was beyond what all that crap is written in that file – like simple words could explain my actions." Jubilee cried out, what hurt more than her choice in leaving Generation X was the fact that it seemed the X-men truly didn't understand it. No one did.

She knew exactly why Professor X would want to use Cerebro after she left Generation X. After her untimely and unexpected resignation from the team, that came so conveniently after the fall out and significant event – how could she not expect it. But yet it still stung.

Soon the weights of Ororo's hands were felt on Jubilee's shoulder and she fought the urge of ripping herself from the older female's grasp. "I understand you must not appreciate knowing this."

_No shit. _Jubilee held the desire to blurt out another snide remark but despite her anger and hurt she held it together still recognizing she _was_ speaking to someone she had _always_ respected.

"Please sit down Jubilee. You have requested to speak to me. And I will listen. I am not here to judge you and I would love to know your story rather the lack of detail thing we called information in this file. Why don't _you _tell me?" Ororo replied, her voice soothing the irritation that floated in the air.

Nodding her head Jubilee slowly approached the chair she had moments ago been sitting on. "What do you want to know?" She mumbled her arms cross and suddenly she wished more than ever she hadn't returned home.

"It's documented that you left Generation X shortly after a particular mission that involved the government officials and anti-mutant group. Is that true?" Ororo asked, her eyes once again glancing at the file placed in front of her.

Jubilee nodded her head as the all too vivid memory snuck back into her mind. _God I hated that day. _It still haunted her nights it haunted her dreams.

Ororo once again pushed the file aside, "I've been told that Xavier had made several attempts to contact Emma about the matters concerning your resignation. However, from her statement she remains to say she knows nothing of your abrupt and hasty decision of leaving. Except that only one member in particular would be able to explain and among others have a idea. However he and the rest of your teammates remained to be of no interest in speaking to Xavier."

"Skin." Jubilee mumbled as she looked away recalling her former dark haired teammate.

Nodding her head Ororo continued, "It appears the only knowledge we had about your decision was an argument that occurred with you and your teammates after that particular mission, in which shortly after you left."

"I did." Jubilee agreed as she returned her cold gaze at Ororo.

"You left quite a scene before your departure." Ororo said with a small smirk on her face. And Jubilee couldn't help but beam that Ororo a role model of rules and order would find her actions amusing.

A similar smirk soon appeared on Jubilee's face as well and Jubilee spoke, "I destroyed the common room and the meeting room."

"You're being quite humble Jubilee. Destroyed does not describe it entirely. You left it looking like there was nothing ever there to begin with." Ororo commented, the telltale look of amusement still in her face.

Jubilee flushed, yet she wasn't sure if she was turning red at embarrassment or pride that she had been that powerful.

"Would you like to tell me now what happened?" Ororo asked carefully as she leaned back into her chair.

Nodding her head Jubilee took a deep breath and closed her eyes recalling one of her most unforgettable days of her life. One that she wished she could banish from her mind.

Flashback: Start

They had just returned from the mission. A disaster the moment they arrived at the site, there were shots being fired and explosions everywhere. Smoke covered the air like a blanket making it harder to see and harder to breathe. And as if there couldn't be anything else to make it worse, there was. They had arrived on edge with one another, no one could agree. Correction, _he _wouldn't agree with her.

It could have been anything that had led them to the bad luck. The fact that it was already bad news the moment they saw it miles away. Or the fact that indeed no one on the team seemed to be in sync with one another. Or it could have been that fate was not on their sides that night. However, they left their mission failed and they had gotten out barely alive.

"Tell him to stay off me Paige." Jubilee mumbled as she pushed open the door and marched into the common room.

Angelo hissed and pushed his way through the rest of the members to catch up with her. "I can hear you know that."

Jubilee ignored his comment and made her way to the meeting room. What she truly wanted to do was throw off her damn belt, communicator and gear and call it a night. She didn't have the heart or patience to sit through a post briefing. _Like it'd be helpful, they never are, not for this team._

"Damn it Jubilee when are you going to listen." Angelo cried out grabbing her arm once they reached the meeting room squeezing it with much force. His dark eyes stared at her with such fierce she knew he was angry.

"Funny someone like you would say something like that." Jubilee scoffed as she pulled her arm from his grasp, "You're such a hypocrite."

Angelo threw a chair and the eyes of the rest of their teammates grew wide as the stood silently watching the small argument build. They had been arguing the entire time they were on their way to return to base. "You know Lee you can be so stubborn."

"And what about you?" Jubilee yelled unable to hold her patience down. Normally she would let her snide remarks fight her battles especially when it came to her teammates, when it came to him. But tonight it seemed that she wasn't going to be heard. "I told you we should back down the moment we saw shots being miles away. When we saw explosions and fire for god's sake!"

Everett sighed as he stepped in the middle of the two arguing mutants, "Come on guys, it's been a long night there's no one to blame. Let's just call it a night all right?"

"No." Angelo answered dryly his arms still crossed. "We're going to deal with this now."

Jubilee rolled her eyes,damn was she tired of his stubbornness. To think she could actually like him, to think they actually shared a 'connection'. "Sorry Everett, it seems Skin here wants someone to blame."

Angelo glared, "Sure lets blame the one who didn't trust our team minutes before we got to our destination. You killed the morale Jubilee, calling it quits before we even started. Where's your pride!"

"Sure. Let pride kill us!" Jubilee screamed, _was he kidding_? Because _he _was the one who wanted to still go through with it. He had been the one who had talked the rest of the team into it. Not that they blamed him but maybe it was his own guilt that wanted someone to blame. And that someone had to be her.

"You want to blame me? Go ahead!" Jubilee yelled as she grabbed a hold of Angelo's arm and stared at him daring him to speak. Like she really cared for being the victim of his rage, like she normally wasn't, it's just tonight she wasn't in the mood to let it slide.

"Guys really like Everett said it's been a long night." Paige pleaded and Jubilee could hear a hint of fear in her voice.

"Sorry Paige," Jubilee replied coldly, "I can't seem to drop something like this since Angelo appears to want to continue to carry this out like a little child."

Angelo scoffed as he looked away from Jubilee's glare, "It's what you like to do Lee, get into people's business. I told you were going to get burned if you kept doing it." As he grabbed her arms pulling her closer to him.

Jubilee hissed as she pushed him away, her hands thrown into the air like she was ready to attack. "You want to say something Angelo. Just fucking say it already." She was tired of his implications, his flippin' hard headed attitude, like someone put something up his ass.

"You want me to say it?" Angelo yelled as he walked up towards her. He towered over her a few inches and he leaned over just to stare directly in her eyes. "I'm sick of your concern for this team. You want to be a fucking asset in this team, then be one, but stop getting involved in my business."

_Is that what this is about? He was blowing up at me for that? _

"Should I not care that we go in blind or without thought and die then?" Jubilee snapped back as she threw a look at her teammates. She wondered then what they thought about her hesitation earlier that night. Its not that she was chicken – hell no Jubilation Lee was anything but chicken, she just sure as hell was not stupid. "Sure the next time we see something like that before going into a mission I'll keep my mouth shut and next time instead of me calling us out of the mission like tonight, maybe we won't leave alive!" Throwing her things down onto the table she began to walk towards the exit. She was through with this. _Fuck the post briefing._

He was never one to lose, especially when it was in a battle or fight that he initiated, more importantly when it was a fight that the other person so blatantly didn't care for. "Sure Jubilee just walk away, its what you do best right? You did it to the X-men right after they got attacked at the mansion right?"

Jubilee froze in steps as she mentally told herself that she didn't hear what she thought she heard. "What did you say?" She asked darkly, her voice in a loud whisper.

"You heard me."

Her fist clenched she turned around her sapphire eyes dark and her body shaking. It was a cheap shot from someone that she had trusted. It was low remark from someone that she called a teammate a friend to be saying such cold words. And even though she knew he said it to get a rise from her. That she should let it go because it was anything but the truth – she couldn't walk away from a statement like that. Within seconds her hands found themselves clenching his uniform ready to punch him.

"You're pushing it Espinosa." She hissed as small plasma sparks began to ignite from her fist.

"I think you're mistaken Lee, you're already over the edge." Angelo whispered his voice dark and his eyes flickered.

Flashback: End

"A fight broke out afterwards." Jubilee mumbled her eyes focused on the only window in Ororo's office.

"Between you and Skin?" Ororo asked as her eyebrow rose.

Jubilee smirked and finally after her story returned her eyes on Ororo, "On me and Skin, and then with myself."

The argument hadn't been any prettier after that. Angelo continued to push her even despite the attempts of her teammates to calm or break them apart. She had lost it and before she knew it they were fighting, she had never experienced such rage at the feeling of betrayal and disappointment – her powers were unknown to her. Extreme to say the least, like Ororo had said she had left the meeting room and the common room into ashes. Not so much harming Angelo or her teammates but leaving everything else around them in pieces.

Realizing what she had done she walked out without a word to her teammates. Angelo probably terrified allowed her without so much a glare or another word. A day after she spoke to a few of them apologizing for something that wasn't her fault, all knowing that Angelo had pushed her – if there was anyone to blame it was him.

Yet, feeling distrusted and betrayed Jubilee sent her resignation letter to Emma she chose not disclose what happened with her and Angelo. She would leave it up to them to see fit on whether or not they felt it imperative to say something. Not one word or look was given to Angelo and by choice she let that night be the last of their time together.

A big part of her was relieved when no one tried to stop her. Even though Paige and Everett on separate short occasions before she left apologized for Angelo in hopes she'd change her mind.

He may have been her snapping point that night but she knew long before that she would leave. She had not gained what she hoped by being there when she first entered. What was the point in staying in a team with someone who questioned her, someone that at one point trusted her that she trusted? The point of staying when somewhere there when she had lost her passion her driving will.

"Professor Xavier looked for me because of what happened that night. Didn't he?" Jubilee asked already knowing the answer. She had been told once that she contained immense powers it wasn't until that very night she saw just how much she did.

Ororo nodded her head, "From what I've heard he felt you that night. He said that he never felt such pain and rage from you before. After speaking to Emma the following day he was concerned when she stated that you had left."

"He thought I'd snap again." Jubilee mumbled her eyes dropping.

Ororo chose to say nothing and Jubilee figured she wanted to avoid another heated argument. Instead she asked another question. "Where did you go after you left?"

Shrugging her shoulders Jubilee looked away once more back at the window. Her eyes focused on the clear blue sky. "Anywhere and everywhere, like you said I disappeared. I wanted to." _I needed to._

Silence formed and Jubilee found her self wrap in place in her mind and heart that she had been trapped in for the past 6 months. She hadn't been running or although she knew that's what her former teammate would think. Rather, she was searching for herself.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Ororo asked after several seconds passed.

"Within Generation X?" Jubilee asked, her eyes once again meeting Ororo's. "No." She answered truthfully.

"When I joined I set out with so much dreams and ambitions. Maybe I over expected." She laughed half-heartedly then. "Or maybe I didn't. But I didn't find it there. I didn't leave Generation X because of what Angelo said or what happened. I left that night because I realized that whatever I wanted, whatever I've been searching for I knew then that I wouldn't find it there. I left because it wasn't in my heart anymore."

Like the many things that shattered before her eyes that night when she had released her powers, her dreams shattered that night. _But who knew, maybe they weren't even there to begin with._

She was in a team for 3 years and poured her sweat and blood for those teammates. Its not that she ever believed they weren't worth it. But she often wondered if they thought she was. After 3 years of constant fights within the team dynamics she was tired of showing her self worth to _him _and to others. But then again maybe it wasn't them. Maybe it was her, she needed to get away from that life – she needed to disappear.

Ororo nodded her head as once again she allowed silence to fill the conversation. And it was another reason why Jubilee appreciated her company and she appreciated and welcomed the silence Jubilee often desperately needed.

"And now?" Ororo then said carefully, "What are you looking for?"

Jubilee's eyes widen and for once although she wanted to look away she continued to stare directly into Ororo's eyes, willing her self to find the answer in her heart.

"Honestly I disappeared because I was trying to find myself." Jubilee answered, her voice trailed and she suddenly wasn't so sure she wanted to answer.

"Xavier mentioned he contacted you a couple times until you finally decided to respond to him." Ororo stated and Jubilee knew she was trying to encourage her to talk more.

Jubilee nodded her head, "I wasn't sure if wanted to speak to anyone that knew me. I wasn't sure I wanted to return. Like I said I wanted to disappear …" her voice trailed and once more Jubilee wondered what she was doing back, what her plans were, if she would even stay.

"There's a lot of dreams that I held from when 14, since the last time I was here. That I envisioned. There's a lot that shattered over the years." Jubilee answered softly, they were words and thoughts she had never said out loud to anyone but for some reason the way Ororo spoke the way she listened it made her want to pour it out.

"I know we're supposed to be talking about my plans and intentions on returning. But I'm starting to wonder if 6 months was too short. I'm sorry but I don't know if I can commit to the team or to anything right now, when I'm still searching for myself... " Her words slipped out and Jubilee quickly stood from her chair shaking her head.

_What was the point of this meeting?_ She had been talking for over an hour now almost two. They were supposed to be talking about plans she set for her return, her expectations. Not talking about what happened or what should have been could have been and dreams.

Without a look at Ororo she walked towards the door, "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ororo."

Her hand touched the cold metal door and the voice of her most favored female X-man leader spoke, "Jubilee … although shattered, dreams can be reformed, renewed. And one can find herself even when she knows no where to look."

Slowly Jubilee turned to look at Ororo as she continued to speak, "I know that it may be difficult being here. But sometimes our hearts answer us in the deepest and hardest times and places. Just know that you do not need to know the answers for others but only the answer to your own heart."

Letting the words sink in Jubilee smiled weakly at Ororo, suddenly she didn't feel such regret or great foolishness for her presence there. "Thank you Ororo, that means a lot to me."

Returning to the door she pulled it open and smiled to herself. So it wasn't the easiest conversations she's had since she left Generation X but it was something she needed. As she stepped out into the hallway she listened to the last words that Ororo called out, "And Jubilee my door is always open."

Looking over her shoulder she gave Ororo a full real smile, and this was the reason why she requested to speak to Ororo. As the words of the wise X-man woman still lingered in her head … _although shattered, dreams can be reformed and renewed. _

Sighing she placed her hands against the back of her neck and walked towards her room. _Here's hoping to finding those answers._

* * *

_Author Note_: My semester is slowly dying down so hopefully I'll be able to update more often. And here's the good news I already have an idea for the next chapter. So it wont take too long unless I find trouble writing it.

Like I said I'm a little self conscious about this chapter. So please take the time to review and give me feedback, what you liked or any ideas. I'd totally appreciate it. Even if it's just a few words! Please take the time to review!

Thanks for reading!


	4. Readers Poll

**Readers Poll**

I'm sorry for the long wait in updating my stories. With my new job and life itself, I've put the stories on the back burner.

Good news to my dedicated readers, I'm motivated to finish or at least attempt to return to writing. To be fair and to also challenge me in updating my stories I'm having a poll. Please vote on which story you'd like to see updated first. 

I plan to hopefully do this weekly or every two weeks poll on readers choice on which stories to work on first since I have so many unfinished stories. The highest number of votes will be the stories I'll attempt to work on first, not to say I won't update the others.

Please vote if you want to see a certain story updated. Again I'll try and do this every week or two weeks or when a new chapter is posted every story...So the polls will be refreshed everytime. So keep checking my profile to vote.

Questions concerns? Review or PM me. I hope this all makes sense if not please contact me. You can find the poll on my profile. Hope to hear some responses.

Thank you all for your continuing support

-jadedxelement


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